Thursday, February 28, 2013

Final Thoughts...

Sorry for not posting more pictures.  Good intentions count for something, right?  I'll do my best to get a post of the birth and pictures of his first few days in the near-ish future.

In the next few hours, I should be receiving a phone call from the hospital letting me know what time to check in tomorrow to be induced to start labor.  How do I feel?  Tired.  Anxious.  Excited.  Nervous.  Exhausted.  Motivated.  Emotional.  Etc. etc. etc...

This pregnancy has been more emotional for me.  I've been more sore and achy.  I've been HOT.  Having a 3 year old makes it more difficult to rest when needed.  I'm an independent woman who likes to take care of things on her own...and when my body was pushed to the limit and I felt like I couldn't do it anymore, I would break down and get emotional.  I HATE feeling that way.  Thankfully, hubby was understanding.  In the past, hormonal emotions confused and frustrated him.  Now, I think he gets it.  He lets me be emotional and loves me anyway.

When the doctor said that we would look at an induction date, I was super stoked.  Then when the nurse confirmed it would be March 1, 2013, I got a bit choked up.  No, I didn't cry.  If I would have had to talk, I probably would have.  I had a flood of emotions, most of which were laid out above.  In addition, I am SO excited to see my little man, to hold him, to kiss him, to love him.  I'm SO excited to see Kuso with his little man.  I'm SO excited for Leila to have a brother to love, to teach, to play with, to take care of, to share life with.  I'm also a bit sad for her that she won't be an only child anymore.  She will have to share the un-devoted attention she gets now (not that there isn't still plenty to go around.)  She will have to adjust to a new way of life.  All of those are good things and I anticipate she will handle it well (for the most part.)

Every day we talk about when baby brother comes.  A couple nights ago she showed her first sign of jealousy.  A few months back we moved her room to the next room over because the baby's room has a light in the closet that just makes it way to convenient to not use...and the color on the walls is perfect for the baby bedding.  She has LOVED her new room, until a few days ago.  I explained I only had a couple of days of work left, then the next day we were going to go to the hospital and get baby brother, and bring him home.
Leila:  But where's his home?
Me:  He shares our house.
Leila:  But where's he gonna sleep?
Me:  In that room (pointing.)
Leila:  But that's my room.
Me:  No, you have the purple room now.
Leila:  But I need to put my bed in that room.
Me:  But your room has a TV.  The other room doesn't.
Leila:  But I need both rooms.
Me:  Can't you share with brother?
5 seconds passes....
Leila:  OH!  THIS is your room, THAT's brother's room, and THAT's my room (pointing appropriately.) 
She just had a laps in thought and quickly got back to her loving big sister roll she plays so well right now.

She gives brother kisses and puts blankets on him (my stomach).  She gets excited to buy him things at the store.  She gets excited to see the blankets that are his.  She is REALLY excited that he has a "blue one" blanket too.  My mom made her a light blue blanket that has a light green backing.  The pattern is monkeys and palm trees.  Leila LOVES that blanket and sometimes refuses to use anything BUT that blanket.  My mom had extra fabric and made brother a blanket with the same material.  Different style though.  Leila LOVES that they both have "blue ones."  Leila loves to call him a baby and clarify that she is not a baby.  BUT, she is NOT a big girl.  She is just "Leila girl."  I put the car seat in the car and this morning was the first time she saw it.  It's RIGHT NEXT to hers (in an attempt to make it easier to carry an extra passenger - we'll see if it stays that way.)  I asked her if she liked it there and she said YES!  Then added "He's gonna love it."  I'm SO EXCITED to watch her interact with her brother.  There is already a notable bond between them and to watch it grow will be amazing.

We get asked often if there will be a third child.  The answer is, I don't know.  Life wasn't bad with one.  We'll see how two goes.  Since hubby works out of town most of the time, I'm basically a single parent with amazing parents who step in and fill the roll as needed.  There are too many unanswered questions right now to answer the question about more children.

My predictions about baby brother....he will look quite a bit like Leila.  Maybe not as much hair.  He might be slightly bigger than her at birth.  I think he might be a good sleeper.  I think he will be very chill (as much as a baby can be.)  Leila was very aware and active.  I think he will sit back and wait for life to happen.  I think he will have a temper that shows when he gets annoyed. 

As an older child and into adulthood, I think he will "follow the leader" with Leila.  I think he will be more accident prone than Leila.  I think he will be stronger than Leila (which is a pretty big accomplishment.)  I think he might be a little sentimental.  I think he will have a strong Spirit that will show throughout his life.  I think he will know what he wants and work toward it.  I think he will have a good work ethic.  I think he will have a great sense of humor.  I think he will idolize his dad and do all things possible to be like him. 

Although I can't pinpoint one strong feeling, I guess the word BLESSED can cover most of them.  Baby Boy, I can't wait to meet you soon!  I can't wait to hold you and feel of the love that comes from our Heavenly Father by blessing us to be your parents.  I can't wait to see how your love and Spirit bless the relationship between you and your sister.  You are truly sent from above and are meant to be in our family.  We love you.